The exhaustion that followed this last conflict-laden year has left me numb. I don't know what to say anymore.
This morning I realised that the system has almost managed to steal my voice, it has ground down my cognitive faculties, silenced my vocal chords and drained the last drop of energy from my soul.
I was curling up, closing doors, contemplating a life of just shutting up and generally feeling very sorry for myself.
Then I heard the voice of Praveen Halappanavar. The dignity of a recently-widowed man who's wife was denied life-saving medical intervention and allowed to die within a mile of my home shook me to my core.
Whatever your position on abortion, it is impossible not to be moved by the story of Savita Halappanavar's death. I keep playing their discussions with the medics in my head, I have had many similar ones on Boy Wonder's behalf. I know only too well the wrath that follows the reasonable request for a second opinion. I can empathise with his lack of trust in an internal HSE inquiry into the events surrounding this terrible tragedy; I have been waiting for three years for an internal report from HSE-funded Enable Ireland on how they managed to endanger my vulnerable son with a speech therapist who had been deemed a threat to public safety in California.
There are members of the Irish establishment, who are so accustomed to treating the general population with such distain that they react with aggressive-disbelief when challenged. I can only hope that the international dimension to this story will save Praveen and his family from the bully-boy tactics that have been used on me and my family.
It is up to every one of us as citizens of this state to demand a full and impartial inquiry; to hold those responsible to account and to ensure by force of law that this can never happen again. Savita and the women of Ireland deserve nothing less.
This story has stirred up old hurts I thought I had dealt with, it has been a difficult week but one which has reminded me to remain dignified and steadfast in my refusal to be bullied.